LDW 2021 Safety Brief
Sit, kneel, bend, stand, Gods and Goddesses. Summer is wrapping up with a swiftness and before we cut you loose for some well-earned frivolity, we gotta break some shit down for you Barney style to keep you under the radar. #AmerikeyIsWatchin #ChestyIsAWatching
Labor Day Weekend, LDW, a time for boozing, cruising, and perusing local finery. #LookAtItClosely Whatever it means to you, I hope at minimum it’s an opportunity for you to cut loose. It’s been a wild ass summer, and fall is priming to be poppin’ as well. So take this weekend and air it out. #IDontLiveToLiveBitchAss
As per usual, keep that E&E plan on deck and stacked. You never know when you’re gonna run into Cry Rage Kyle all fired up on Busch Lattes and a lifetime of disappointment who’s just itching to make you pay. #ThisIsMyBarNotYours Ain’t shit to it, blend in where you fit in, and know when to beat feet.
If the fun police (AKA your S/O’s insecure friend who thinks loving “pizza and dogs” is a personality) tries to run up on the squad, make sure you got your secondary and tertiary comms plans loaded and ready to roll.
Ol’ Dubya might’ve been opposed to cutting and running, but you gotta know when to hold em and fold em, young kings & queens. So if the block is hot don’t even hesitate. No amount of recreational skin bumping is worth that Monday morning ass-chewing sure to be coming your way like a barrel bomb. Unless it is worth it, in which case, Vaya con Allah.
And remember them fundies. Admit nothing, deny everything, and make counter accusations.
May your Inshallahs turn to Alhamdulillahs.
Written By OAF Nation