Weekend Safety Brief // May 9, 2025

It’s Friday again and the world is falling the fuck apart - what better time to bring back the Weekend Safety Brief…let’s get fucking stupid.

Before you VBI face first into some coochie it’s important to take a moment to reflect. There is a time in every man’s life where he questions his own morals and ethics. #Conflicted #DocHasPenicillinTho And that’s alright, but remember that weekends are all about risk vs reward…

For every one of you dirty dicks lookin’ for a place to crash that isn’t the barracks, understand that there’s a battalion sized element of highly fertile single mom out there looking to make you her next baby daddy so make sure you do your 5s and 25s before you go firm in them bootie cheeks #SearchAndAsses. “In the middle of a divorce?” “Separated” “Open Marriage” #Nope #HesDeployedOrInTheField #BreakContactSixOClockFiftyMeters

Every skallywag from Oceanslime to Kinville has on her thinnest layer of clothing and got that bootie jigglin’ in the hopes of getting some free drinks (and blow) #ItsaTrap #DontDoIt Don’t drop a dime unless you know they gonna cut #WhatItIsHoe #WhatsUp You put too much labor into supporting the MIC to buy Modelos for somebody that won’t let you clap cheeks. #NahGoHeadandSlideRealQuick

If you run into some dudes who can’t handle their tren rage, remember, hesitation loses fights not inferior physical strength or training. Everyone is one throat punch or kick in the nuts away from being on the ground. So if somebody wants to run a fade be first or be last; Fighting is a pass or fail evolution #TheOnlyUnfairFightIsTheOneYouLose

Should shit hit the fan, execute your PACE plans accordingly

And come Monday morning, if you find yourself standing in front of your Company First Sausage leaning back in his chair waving his veiny green dick around threatening to fuck you with it, Just remember the following: Admit Nothing. Deny Everything. Make Counter Accusations.

Now get the fuck out there and be somebody.