Sit, kneel, bend, stand, young kings and queens, that time of the week has arrived once again and Bertier and Casper are here to help push you through another round of the Sunday Scaries. Don’t be prideful, you think Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France 7 times because he was good at cycling? Negative, he won because he had a world-class training regimen and a will to achieve. Allow us to be that needle in your buttcheek.

This week we’re going to focus on a topic that your chain of command surely prides itself on but just as surely is as effective at as your First Sausage is at reading promotion warrants. We’re talking about professional development.

Before you start bobbing for cock at the sound of yet another meaningless and time-consuming tirade about JJDIDFUCKACHILD and a myriad of other acronyms developed by barely literate POGs 45 years ago, let us give you some ideas on how to better prepare yourself for a career of life-taking and chastity belt-breaking.

Combat Hunter.

The idea of combat hunter is simple enough, as straightforward as butt stuff; grease it and beat it. The secret to combat hunter, however, is to perfect it. Build that baseline everywhere you go, spot those anomalies and investigate/eliminate them. We’re not telling you to go out there and go full former Marine on your local country bar/college campus anywhere else the Corps has made a name for itself stateside. What we are suggesting is that understanding your fellow man and how/why he acts, thinks, and behaves the way he does can benefit you immensely. Combat Hunter can make the difference between taking home a slightly depressed former Prom Queen with just enough neglect in her life to give you the night of your life and taking home last year’s runner-up of Rupaul’s drag race (who could quite possibly give you the night of your life as well but it may result in some life shattering realizations about your sexuality and your views on butt fun.)

You wouldn’t cross the road without looking left and right, so don’t leave friendly lines without using and developing those tools the military was kind enough to put in your toolbox for free, relatively.