“I am a coward masked in courage and just admitting it will not save me this time”

-Counterparts

 

Let me go ahead and preface with the disclaimer that I think exercising your constitutional rights is amazing and one of the things I love about this country. Also, sticking it to “the man” is one of the hallmarks of OAF Nation. This article is meant to inspire independent and critical thought and not just what some left wing or right wing media outlet wants you to think. 

On January 2nd, 2016, a group of armed “militia” members chose to take a book from the Occupy Wall Street movement (which I’m sure they scoffed at) and set up camp in the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon. This was done in protest of the imprisonment of two ranchers convicted of arson on federal land in 2012. The minimum sentence of arson on federal land is 5 years. Smokey the Bear also said if he caught them in a dark alley, they were going to get the “shit bummed out of them.” 

These “militia” members were getting their cues from Ammon Bundy, the son of Clive Bundy (the rancher from the standoff last year). Apparently, he wasn’t satisfied with the 15 minutes of fame his family had gotten and needed a fix. He implored followers to come to the wildlife refuge, bring their guns, be prepared to stay for years if necessary, and expressed willingness to engage in armed conflict. He had gotten a “divine message” to carry out this mission of taking over a remote and largely uninhabited swathe of land.

The “standoff” lasted a little over a month, claiming one casualty and costing over a million dollars of state and federal dollars. The final militia members surrendered and turned themselves February 11 with a grumble about paying taxes to fund abortion and war.

Surv kit and hand mike attached to....iPhone playing AC/DC.
Surv kit and hand mike attached to….iPhone playing AC/DC.

The entire thing was a fucking clown show. It showcased exactly how NOT to enact change within government, nor stick it to “the man.” It didn’t further anyones rights or free anyone from any sort of oppression or tyranny. The Hammond family, the ranchers convicted and imprisoned for arson on federal land, dismissed any and all motives of these so-called “militia” members saying “we don’t really know the purpose of the guys that are out there.” Well, Mrs. Hammond, let me tell you; it’s because they had nothing better to do and wanted to show off the guns and multicam on which they’d spent their disability and social security checks. It’s the same concept as all the mongoloids that came out to “defend” recruiting offices last year. Stand around in kit and be on TV. Have people come up and shake your hand and you can tell them about the 10-power optic on your M-4. It’s simply an attention grab. Shit, even Cliven Bundy was confounded as to why his son was out camping on TV.

 

I’ve observed that a gross majority of the “militia” who seek publicity are made up of has-been’s and never-were’s. You have a bunch of grown men that never joined or had lackluster careers and want to play soldier. They live in this fantasy realm where they sit around and shoot with like-minded idiots and discuss tactics for the day they have to fight the U.S. government. They hide behind the concepts of constitutional liberty and claim to be fighting for the common man. I’m here to tell you, stop. If the day comes, the common man will fight for himself, thanks. We don’t need a bunch of assholes crawling out of their trailer parks to make me and mine look bad, which is exactly what the Oregon fiasco did. A bunch of right-wing, Christians supporting the second amendment and sticking it to “the man,” all they did was make right-wing, second amendment supporting, Christians look like assholes. Way to go. It’s just like the Occupy movement making a bunch of left wing, trust fund protestors look like idiots pooping in the street. This type of protest is counterproductive. There’s a time to raise your militias, sure. I’m pretty sure it isn’t when a couple ranchers go to prison for breaking the law. 

 

These militias are a bunch of guys who have never seen war, yet want a war with the U.S. government. It’s evident in their preparation, or lack thereof. They open carry guns to “peacefully protest” ( a term used as a technicality when I’m sure everyone there was talking about how it was going to “go down at the throw down.”)  which seems like a pretty ridiculous notion to me. Can it be done? Sure. But is it a good idea? Evidently not. They brought no blankets and no food but, there was plenty of guns, ammo, and nylon. These retards have entire doomsday bunkers at home (you know, for when the “shit hits the fan”), but they don’t bring the supplies necessary to go camping? C’mon! They appealed to social media to have supporters send them “snacks”. Oh yeah, and send it to a federal mailbox too, please? That should be pretty humiliating for a bunch of guys trying to come off as a “well organized militia.” They tore down security cameras in the refuge, claiming they were “surveillance cameras,” spying on them. Apparently, they don’t realize that the government has drones and satellites at their disposal. If they really wanted to watch a bunch of hill-jacks drink moonshine and compliment each other’s Bushmasters, they probably wouldn’t need to rely on a foggy plexiglass box on a telephone pole. Oh, and the “Tarp Man”….I’m pretty sure REAL cowboys could figure out you need a blanket when it’s cold outside.

 

Speaking of the Tarp Man, sadly there was a casualty in all this calamity. Robert Finicum was shot by a state trooper after speeding away after a traffic stop, attempting to evade a chase, trying to bypass a roadblock (which probably didn’t need to be set up with stop sticks and spike strips nowadays, but I digress), oh yeah, then reaching into his pocket (which contained a loaded expression of his second amendment right) when the police have him at gunpoint and are issuing commands. It’s a tragedy for his family, absolutely. There’s cries that he was gunned down in cold blood, that it’s all a cover up and conspiracy. Pictures of him and his family plastered social media, painting him as a man with much to live for, much like the Michael Brown media campaign. The man was apparently a cowboy, and had talked numerous times about not being taken alive and talking all manner of shit that showed his willingness to go guns up if the authorities ever were going to arrest him. He took his fate into his own hands. The same guys saying he was murdered are the ones that talk about how if they were in Iraq and a civilian reached in his pocket, he’d smoke them and “be judged by 12 before I’d be carried by 6.” A lot of tough talk double standard going on in the interwebs nowadays.

 

The whole ordeal makes you wonder; what was the intent of Bundy and his circus? He’s in jail now, vowing to take the fight to the courts and D.C. Isn’t that where the fuck you should have started? Instead, you call out a bunch of III%ers to hang out and break laws and end up with a casualty on your head; You embarrass yourself and your movement on international media outlets and become a joke on social media. Some conspiracy theorists are coming out to say that Ammon Bundy is an informant for the FBI and that he invited a bunch of people as bait for a watch list. Others say he had the “Sandy Hook actor” out there protesting with him (because you know, we have the luxury of saying a tragedy is a conspiracy and didn’t happen in this country.) Time will tell on those, I guess. However, Ammon Bundy and his merry band of tools should hang their head in shame.

I sincerely hope next time a bunch of idiots decide to take it to “the man, “ they do it in a smart fashion and take their asses to Capitol Hill, maybe hire some attorneys and lobbyists, and try that out before they go camping and beg for Slim Jims and blankets.

-Grifter

Johnny

Grifter is the progeny of the Marine Infantry, Reconnaissance, and Private Contracting communities. He also spent some downtime as a Paramedic and a firefighter. He’s and avid reader and a student of life. He’s dedicated his life to finding and promulgating truth in a society which sees only what it wants to see. Over the years, he’s filled passports, made lots of money, rolled his eyes at authority, broken hearts, poked bears, and flown in the face of tradition and status quo. Responsible for such titles as: Veteran Outrage Syndrome, Collateral Damage, and When the Music Stops, Grifter reflects on his observations of the masses with a critical eye towards group-think and identity politics. He currently lives in St. Louis with his wife and two dogs. He is also finishing his last year of school before moving on to become an attorney so he can charge people money to speak to him..and capitalize on a laundry list of personal character flaws. His favorite band is Every Time I Die and he can swim better than you.


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